Thursday, August 7, 2014

What Satan Wants to Tell Me

Heartbreak is hard.  Heartbreak is sometimes unbearable.  Most of the time heartbreak comes when you least expect it, but heartbreak is always linked to a person, whether it is a family member, a friend, a boss, a coworker, or a stranger.

Recent heartbreak has made me really think, and through the pain I learned a lot of things, but among them I found one most important fact.

Satan will tell you anything to take away your joy or make you feel inadequate.

Satan wants us to believe that we have brought upon ourselves anything painful, harmful, dangerous, agonizing, difficult, or just plain bad.  You start blaming yourself when these feelings befall you.

"What's wrong with me?"
"What could I have done differently?"
"I'm not good enough."
"I'm not smart enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not talented enough."
"I could have changed something, but I'm not strong enough."

And none of these thoughts are from God.  In 2 Nephi 2:27 we read that Satan "seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself."

Just too clear the air: like many LDS young single adults my age I did go through a difficult situation with a member of the opposite gender, and coming out of the situation I was thinking many of the previous thoughts I quoted.  "I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or talented enough.  I could have changed something. What's wrong with me?"

Truthfully, I've come to the realization that there is nothing wrong with me.  But how?  Well, because I'm surrounded by people who love me. My mother has talked with me for hours.  My father has continually told me he loves me.  My brother, Izaak, told me, and I quote, "you're good enough for anyone, you just need to find a guy good enough for you." Marcus found out about the situation and started sharpening his knife.. I'm not sure if that is actually related to this situation, but I found it hilarious and ironic.



I also have two best friends on missions that I email weekly.  In my despair I told them of my situation and received the most wonderful and inspiring responses.  Firstly, they wish they could be here to throw darts at his face (a printed picture, not his actual face) with me, as well as eat ice cream and watch chick-flicks.  Secondly, I received only words of love and wonderful scriptures to lift my spirits.

Mosiah 24:15-16
"And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.
"And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage."

This is what God wants me to know.  Now, I'm not in bondage, and I'm not exactly submitting to all things "cheerfully," but I am learning and growing.  Hopefully someday I will get to that point.

I do think it is important to note that although there is nothing wrong with me... there is probably nothing wrong with this boy either.

A talk given by Elder Dallin H. Oaks in January of 2002 really opened my eyes.  In "Timing" he notes that "some of our most important plans cannot be brought to pass without the agency and actions of others."

Our timing is not the Lord's timing, and he knows best.  "Because of things over which we have no control, we cannot plan and bring to pass everything we desire in our lives.  Many important things will occur in our lives that we have not planned, and not all of them will be welcome.  Even our most righteous desire may elude us or come in different ways or at different times than we have sought to plan."

I want to finish with this quote from the same talk because I believe it relates not only to my situation, but to the situations of those around me.  And I do have a testimony that Heavenly Father knows best, and he only wants the best for us.  He doesn't want us to belittle ourselves or blame ourselves, but he also does not wish to take away the agency of others, and thus we are gifted with agency for ourselves which is a wonderful blessing to have.  I would never trade that for anything in the world.

"If we have faith in God and if we are committed to the fundamentals of keeping His commandments and putting Him first in our lives, we do not need to plan every single event-- even every important event-- and we should not feel rejected or depressed if some things-- even some very important things-- do not happen at the time we have planned or hoped or prayed."


Thursday, July 24, 2014

Let's Consider... Hobby Lobby

Business

Let us please consider.. what is a business?
Seriously?  What is the purpose of a business in America?

From my understanding a business is an idea.  A person comes up with an idea and implements it.  This can be a business for services or products, doesn't matter.  Anything.

This business is created to offer a product or service to the public.  As the business grows they must employ people.  Human beings. Right?

Salary

Now, the owner of the business will set a pay scale.  They decide the salary. Whether there is a minimum wage or not, it doesn't matter.  "Why?" you may ask.  Well, if they are paying far below what society itself has defined as appropriate then, simply put, nobody in their right mind would work for them and thus they would go out of business.

Bad policies, product, salary, or service = Bad business owner = Bankrupt business.

So everyone working in America makes a salary right?  I want to make this a clear point.

Everyone makes a salary.

If you are a better employee, if you are important to a company, your pay scale increases because they would rather have you as an asset than give you up to their competition.

Now historically what would a salary pay for?  Anything you could possibly want, that you could afford.  Shelter, food, toiletries, childcare, etc. ... even health insurance!  Back when people were responsible for themselves, right?

Insurance

Okay now historically select businesses offered Health Insurance without the request from government.  Why?  
1. It is tax deductible to the business.
2. Employees get the benefit 100% tax free
This is a plus for the employer AND the employee.

As a human being seeking employment, one can use their knowledge and understanding of what each company is offering and choose to work for a company that offers Health Insurance, but that is the employees decision and it doesn't take away the employers agency.

Agency

Okay.  Why should a human being lose their agency and ability to choose because they implement an idea that:
1. offers the opportunity for employees to make money
2. provides society with a product or service?
This I REALLY don't understand.

Let's say I'm planning a wedding.  I plan on having a chocolate fountain.  A certain person attending my wedding believes that chocolate is evil and that I shouldn't offer it to my guests.  I should not be required to find an alternative to my chocolate fountain because my beliefs clash with a guest's beliefs.  That guest can choose not to attend, or choose to attend but realize that there will be a chocolate fountain there.  It is my wedding.

The same goes for a company.  Hobby Lobby decides not to offer 4 types of birth control because they clash with their religious beliefs.  A certain person applying for a job does not agree with their decision to implement their religious beliefs and insists that they, and every other employee should be offered those benefits.  The owners of the company should not be required to give them special treatment because their beliefs clash.  The possible employee can choose not to work there, or work there and realize that they will not receive those kinds of benefits.  It is the owner's business.

What Happens in a Company, Stays in the Company
Believe it or not

We've all heard "What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas," right?  It's true for companies as well.

This concerned citizen, along with a few others, brought up an potential problem.


I'm sorry ma'am, you are ill-informed.  

Hobby Lobby does not have the right to ban their employees from using birth control.  They just don't have to pay for it.

An Orthodox Jew does not have the right to ban their employees from electricity.  They just don't have to pay your electric bill.

What Happens in your Private Life is not your Boss's Business, Nor Their Responsibility 

Guess what?  What happens in your bedroom, stays between you and whoever is in there with you. Which is hopefully not your boss, but if it is, then yes he should take some responsibility.

#NotMyBossBusiness

This is a trending hashtag people.  Seriously?  Not my boss's business, but he must pay for it.  The logic!



So.. Let me get this straight.. You don't want Boss to have any business in your birthing choices; however, they have to pay for whatever your decisions are...?!








Their beliefs aren't dictating anything. Women still have choices, but bosses aren't responsible.

I guess I'm too simple-minded to understand.


See in middle school/high school everyone takes a sex-ed class. If a woman chooses to have sexual relations with someone there is ALWAYS a chance of pregnancy.  Now THAT is science.  You can pay for contraceptives if you don't want to be pregnant (you still have access to it) but ultimately that is your responsibility.  (Otherwise, abstinence is definitely a good choice.  It works 100% of the time!)

Responsibility


Oh my goodness. Last 8 words. Full Adult Human Responsible For Her Own Choices.

re·spon·si·bil·i·ty

: the state of being the person who caused something to happen
  • Ummm.. you have sex, you get pregnant (boss not involved.. hopefully)

: a duty or task that you are required or expected to do
  • You are expected to be responsible of your sexual endeavors (your boss did not participate, your boss is not responsible)

Accountability

When did women decide that they are entitled to everything under the sun because they are women? It is called accountability.  It is an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions.  

It is no surprise that women become pregnant after being intimate.  It is not a boss's job to care for a child if a woman decides to give birth and likewise a boss should not be expected to cover any of your contraceptives.  It is not a "right." Giving birth is natural, if you choose to interfere with that process that is your decision, not your boss's responsibility. 

He's not your "sugar daddy." You don't get extra benefits just for being his employee.  You work, you receive a salary.  Your salary can go to whatever you want, but that is not his business because his company is his business (literally). That is not his responsibility.

Get over your false sense of entitlement, please.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Families Can Be Together Forever

My family (:

Considering current events, I am saving my Hobby Lobby post for later because there is something much deeper pressing on my mind that I feel inspired to write on.

Just last week a family in Texas was murdered.  The lone survivor was the 15-year-old daughter who had a bullet graze her head. She pretended to be dead until her aunt's ex-husband left.  After experiencing her family being executed she called 911 to warn them that her family's killer would be traveling to her grandparent's house next and, in the process, she probably saved around 20 family members.

Days later she was released from the hospital and spoke at a memorial for her family.  She commented that she knew that her family was in a much better place and that she will be able to see them again someday.

As unbelievable as it seems, this comment, based on her faith, stirred up controversy. 




First of all... *be better *sooner rather than later *the.
If you're going to have an opinion that lacks compassion.. please try to be grammatically correct. 

Beyond that, I would feel awful to not bear my testimony on the truth I know of being able to spend eternity with my family.

I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone because, I don't care what religious people argue, you can't prove religion. However, I've studied and pondered and received my own answers.  I have not "just listened" to my religious leaders and "just believed." 

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Or a Mormon, as most people recognize us.  I believe in the Bible "as far as it is translated correctly.  I also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God."  It is another testament of Jesus Christ. I base my beliefs on those simple principles.
In our church their is a song that teaches the principle of Eternal Families...

"I have a family here on earth
They are so good to me
I want to share my life with them
Through all eternity.
Families can be together forever
Through Heavenly Father's plan
I always want to be with my own family
And the Lord has shown me how I can."

Next to the teachings of Christ and his Atonement we know that through his Atonement and sacrifice we have the opportunity to live with our families and our Heavenly Father throughout eternity in mansions that have been prepared for us (John 14:1-3.)

I can see where this 15-year-old girl can have so much strength in knowing her family is in a better place.  In True to the Faith, an LDS gospel reference book, we learn that "when the physical body dies, the spirit continues to live.  In the spirit world the spirits of the righteous 'are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care and sorrow' (Alma 40:12.)"

It notes also that "physical death is only temporary: 'As in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive' (1 Corinthians 15:22.)"  Understanding the principles of the gospel and the idea of an eternal family should give anyone the strength to work through this kind of a tragedy.

This comment given does bring up a good, honest question.


I'm extremely glad to answer that question.  Let us first consider where we are basing our "logic."  

If we believe that there is a better place, generally we believe there is a God.
If we believe there is a God, generally we believe the Bible is the word of God.
If we believe the Bible is the word of God, generally we believe in the Ten Commandments.
If we believe in the Ten Commandments, generally we believe "Thou shalt not kill." (Exodus 20:13.)
If we believe "Thou shalt not kill," generally we believe thou shalt probably not kill thyself.
BECAUSE if you do you have thus broken a commandment of God and will achieve a lesser kingdom, or if you're not LDS, hell is a possibility.  And hell is not a "better place."
Logically speaking.

Alas!  I digress..

I'm afraid what worries me even more is the lack of compassion.  Considering what we are taught of the Second Coming of Christ I have reason to wonder.  In D&C 45:27, speaking of Christ's return, we read "And the love of men shall wax cold..." and how sad is it that this should come to pass.  Especially at the tragedy of a child losing her family.

Those that have taken this tragedy and termed it as a reason to bring up the stupidity of religious teachings, gun control, and politics: they've completely missed the point.  Compassion, love, and kindness has disappeared as selfishness, pride, and arrogance has emerged.

Don't stop loving.  Don't stop serving.  Don't lose faith.

Stay close to your family and treasure the relationships you find there, because they can be eternal.

To understand why a little girl can feel so calm in the face of tragedy, I turn to these words:

"Jesus took upon Himself the pains, sicknesses, and infirmities of all people (Alma 7:11-12).  He understands your suffering because he has experienced it.  With this perfect understanding, He knows how to help you.  You can cast 'all your care upon him; for he careth for you' (2 Peter 5:7)...

'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.' (Matthew 11:28.)"


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

My Life and the Priesthood


Recent trip to the Las Vegas Temple

Although I know this seems to be a touchy subject in the church, as well as the world, I have felt it important that I bear my testimony on the subject.  I'm not seeking an argument, or even a discussion; however, I find it important that the world does not only see the one side or opinion that seems to have sprouted from within the church.

Personally, I have felt that the recent events regarding women and the priesthood have been especially degrading, not only towards the men (the worthy priesthood holders in the church) but also to myself.  I will start by addressing men and the accusations against them first, and follow up with the degradation of women.

A popular notion floating around in the secular world is the idea that the men of the church are oppressing women by not allowing them to have the priesthood.  Despite the fact that there is no LDS doctrine to back up the idea that women were ever or would ever be ordained to the priesthood I would love to bear my testimony regarding my experience with the male members I have been acquainted with in the church.

My mother's father I always remember as having treats for me, black licorice and jelly beans to be precise.  He was especially loving to me as his only granddaughter for the longest time and still is to this day.  He has always respected and loved my mother as well as his wife, and has sought the most comfortable life for all of us.  He cares so much for the women of the past that when he started getting sick because of a dementia-related disease he spent hours doing family history to find the names of his ancestors to do temple work for.  What kind of an oppressive man seeks to do a service for the women of his history?

My grandfather (father's father) was born outside of the church on March 7, 1935 in Knoxville, TN.  He joined the church and met my grandmother.  They were married in the temple and they gave birth to 12 children.  12 CHILDREN! Although I'm aware my grandfather wasn't perfect, as none of us are, I know that my grandfather did not oppress women.  What kind of an oppressive man respects a woman enough to invest all of his earnings into his wife and 12 children?  His family?

My grandfather passed away earlier this year and hearing his children speak, visiting with the large family, and singing with the other 64 grandchildren and 35 great-grandchildren  at the funeral was a wonderful blessing.  In his obituary he is titled as the patriarch of his family and we were all grateful for his service, his kindness, and his love.  I don't think I can say it better than my cousin Zach, so I will quote him, "I will always remember my grandpa as a man with kindness in his eyes and charity in his heart." Our future as an eternal family is far more important to me than the fight for women's ordaining into a priesthood office.

My father was the 5th of 12.  He met and married my mother at the age of 28.  As per the teachings of our church my father was a virgin until after he was sealed to his wife in the temple.  What kind of oppressive man respects the body of a woman before marriage?

My father continued on in life to raise money for our family, as his father did, to aid in his children's talents and education.  My mother has always been a stay-at-home mother.  And I have been ever grateful for that, but that was only possible through my father's service to his family.  My mother and father bought me a $15,000 harp when I was 11even though financially we struggled.  What kind of an oppressive father buys his daughter a gift to encourage her to grow her talents even in the midst of poverty?

I have two younger brothers and I love them both immensely.  They work hard in school to receive good grades and plan on marrying girls that they love and respect one day to raise up their own family.  What kind of disrespectful young men put such importance on the women they will be serving for the rest of their lives?

And its not just family members I'm relating to.  I love my grandpas, dad, uncles, brothers, cousins, etc; however, any righteous man in the church is the same.  Keep in mind that word: righteous.  Men who choose to follow the teachings of the church respect and love women.  That doesn't change when you are called to a position of authority in the church.

By the movements brought up recently it hurts me to feel that the brethren I've come to love and appreciate for their service in the church has been ridiculed.  These men that I love are not sexist.  The organization is built around the revelation of God, and those who lead righteous lives in priesthood authority as our prophet and apostles have not received revelation that women should have any place in the ordination of the priesthood.  I believe that this is the true church of God and he would not let the prophets or apostles lead us astray.

Moreover, I think it's important I mention the degradation of women in this situation.  Recently a woman's activist group, Ordain Women, has made extreme accusations of sexism towards the church.

Now before I go on, I want my readers to understand why I have such strong opinions.  Firstly, I was called to a position a few weeks ago in the Institute organization by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  My calling involves helping students at Institute "seek truth."  I wasn't given very many details on the subject, rather, the priesthood leaders encouraged me to pray and read my scriptures and they were sure I'd receive revelation on my own.  And you know what?  I did.

In light of current events regarding women's ordination to the priesthood I heard about the 6 discussions posted on the "Ordain Women" website.  I firmly disagree with this activist opinion, (obviously) so I thought.. Where are they seeking truth?  How are they seeking it?  Why are they finding "truth" that contradicts my own beliefs?

So.. I read everything on their website searching to either prove myself wrong or strengthen my testimony.  I know we're not supposed to read anti-mormon literature and everything, but I've never had a question on my faith so I wanted to see where others questioned the church, its teachings, and the prophets and apostles.

Firstly, the organization asserts that motherhood is in no way equal to fatherhood with the priesthood.  . . . Why not?  What makes motherhood lesser?  Are these women telling me that my righteous desire to be a mother doesn't measure up to men?  It reminds me of a recent situation where Kirsten Dunst made a loving comment about her mother being.. well, a mother: "staying at home, nurturing, being the mother, cooking."  Many bloggers freaked out on the subject but one stood out to me: an "actress and blonde who looks good in clothes" is "not paid to write gender theory so it shouldn't surprise anyone that she's kind of dumb about it."  Does this mean that "uneducated" people who have not taken classes on gender cannot have an opinion on motherhood and their experience in life?

In a more recent article posted on January 15th of this year, on "Thought Catalog," some pretty unbelievable statements were made.  "Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself?"  "Women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don't have to explain their lack of real accomplishments."  Or my personal favorite: "Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business."

Although I know these are extreme "feminist" views I think the underlying message is clear.  Women as wives and mothers are not good enough and those women who value motherhood alone are too stupid to realize they're oppressed.  So.. you're insulting my ability to think and reason for myself, you're insulting my choice to be happy with my role as solely a wife and mother, and you're insulting the men that I love and rely on in my life.

I could go on for days explaining my opinions on women, feminism, sexism, and politics, but I'll save that for another day.  I'd like to refer to some explanations and "doctrine" given through the 6 discussions.  I think they'll speak for themselves.

The first discussion begins with what they call a "Patriarchy Bingo." I will reference a few and give my own response.

1. Men taught you how to be a woman.

  • Umm. No.  My mom taught me how to be a woman.  My mom was probably one of the most influential people in my life and my brothers' lives, and she is, in fact, female. A woman.
2. Even if your mom had input, you knew that the final say on any major decision was your dad's
  • I don't think families would last very long if that were always the case.  Mom rules.  In fact a popular saying in my family is "if mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."  Thus, my parents always made big decisions as a couple. As most Mormon families do.. men do not want an unhappy wife, trust me, it doesn't work out in their favor.
3. You were taught that men and boys are naturally less spiritual, less nurturing, and more selfish
  • Referring back to the men in my family.. I don't think selfishness includes giving up your full income to your family as well as many other freedoms they enjoy as a single man.  And in fact, my dad, when not working to support the family, was a joy to have at home and extremely nurturing.  I know he's not alone in that.  And for righteous men who serve on a mission for two years, that's pretty spiritual.
And there were plenty other critical statements made.  This "activity" implied that men were in control and were pigs.  Beyond that, the discussion continually quotes doctrine completely out of context to argue their feelings on gender "equality" within the church.

Last but not least, I wanted to look at two of the biblical backings they found for their argument that women have held the priesthood historically.  First, they reference prophetesses in the Bible.  A quick search on lds.org shows us this...

PROPHETESS
See also Prophecy, Prophesy
A woman who has received a testimony of Jesus and enjoys the spirit of revelation.  A prophetess does not hold the priesthood or its keys.  Though only a few women in the scriptures are called prophetesses, many prophesied.

Thus.. this doesn't help the argument.  Second, they speak of "women, during the first century after Christ's ministry, who [were] referred to as deaconesses -- Priscilla and Phoebe -- and apostles -- Junia (See Romans 16 NRSV)."


What is NRSV, you ask?  Well, not church doctrine.  The church strictly uses the KJV (King James Version) Bible translated directly from the Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek texts.  The NRSV is titled New Revised Standard Version.. which is a version of the Christian Bible as translated by Orthodox, Catholic and Protestant Christian groups. It is an updated revision of the Revised Standard Version, which was itself an update of the American Standard Version, derived from the English Revised Version which was actually a literal translation of the King James Version...

The ERV claimed to be "the best version possible in the 19th century, as King James' Version was the best which could be made in the 17th century.  There were over 30,000 changes made.  Considering that this translation has now undergone 3 more translations outside of the church, and the idea that revelation is given through God to his prophets, I have a hard time believing that these other organizations have received more biblical revelation than our own prophets and apostles who said that the King James' Version is the most correct.  And the KJV says nothing of deaconesses or women apostles.  

Consider my rant over, I think I've made my point.  Hopefully this will encourage those who are on the fence regarding this subject to look into the assumptions and teachings of Ordain Women and other related organizations and really seek truth as they search for answers to their questions, even if the answer isn't what they want.

Bear in mind,  I seek truth based on my faith that the prophets and apostles that lead my church are inspired of God.  So I suppose I am biased.  But regardless, I truly believe I am a member of a church led by God and he knows what is best for the church and more specifically for me.  I also believe that there are more important things in this life, such as serving those who are in need, introducing the gospel to those who would benefit from our ordinances, and magnifying the callings we are given.

I'd like to close with a favorite scripture of mine: Alma 29:3 and 6.  It states, "But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.  Now, seeing that I know these things, why should I desire more than to perform the work to which I have been called?"

I know that as we seek to humbly perform in the works that we have been called to do, we will receive solace and answers from God to help us understand his plan and to help us find joy, because isn't that what we're here for?